Tag Archive for Brandon Hantz

This Is Not A Picnic!

Brandon fighting his demonsThe difference between Big Brother and Survivor makes it pretty difficult to analyze each episode for me, and I’m sure I’m not alone with this.  For instance, with Big Brother, they could have sliced up all types of clips to make it seem like Brendon, Cassi and Daniele had a hot threeway one night in the pool.  Would it be true?  No, simply because we can watch 24/7 feeds and see the three were swimming around innocently that night.

I don't think Brandon has to worry about Mikayla hitting on him

However, when it comes to Survivor, I’m having a difficult time transitioning my blogging because I can only blog about what I see, and what I see out there is the nephew of one of the most popular players in Survivor history looking absolutely crazy over his obsession with Mikayla.  For some reason, that is puzzling to even his own tribe-mates, Brandon has targeted Mikayla as the #1 target this season, and it’s all because she walks around in her panties and reminds him of Parvati.  Is this bad editing? I’d like to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say he’s not going after her simply because he finds her hot and wants her gone before he makes a mistake in his marriage… but two episodes in and he’s still acting strange.

Brandon is completely screwing his own game right now, and he didn’t help his cause at all by lying to try and get some random girl out, and then not having a good story to fall back on when he was called on it during tribal.   I am a huge fan of his uncle’s style, but it’s very clear Brandon should have had a few years of life experience under his belt before going on the show because he’s clearly not ready.   Look for him gone likely the next time his tribe loses (which shouldn’t be long).

Ozzy is fun to watch

Now that I got that out of the way, I do want to say overall the episode was much better than last week, and hopefully will provide us with quite a bit of entertainment.  Coach is already doing his thing of trusting the wrong people, Ozzy is making monkeys envious the way he scales trees, and paranoia is very high on both sides.  I don’t see this season being dominated by one specific person/tribe like last year, and every episode could go in any direction.

Tonight, there wasn’t a whole lot of action on the Savaii tribe except for Ozzy somehow finding the idol, and also forming an alliance with Jim and Keith with Whitney and Elyse as the ‘throw away’ alliance members who will be the first to go if need be.   All the action was on the Upolu tribe, so that was the focus roughly 75% of the episode.

First, Brandon has to get his dark secret out, and ended up telling Coach that he is Russell’s nephew.  Seriously?  You needed to tell someone, so you told the guy who was blindsided by your uncle a few seasons back?  I understand that you’re a religious man, but I think they put an amendment to the bible in the last few years that once you go on the show Survivor, you’re allowed to lie your ass off if it has the chance to bring you a million smackers.     The shocking part of it… Coach decided “hey, he told me, so he can’t be that bad.. right”.  Right, Coach.

The rest of the episode was focused around Christine searching for the elusive idol, but on the bright side she did find the clue to it. It was in the same spot that Stacey left it last week when she completely missed the rolled up piece of paper on a stick in the tree.   The clue didn’t tell her much, and she didn’t have much time regardless because she had to go to the….

Immunity Challenge

The blue girls had great rhythm going

Again, much credit goes out to the designers of these challenges.  This one was on the easier side, but still pretty well designed and required a bit of strategy and strength.. the perfect kind of puzzle.   Upolu got off to an extremely fast start with the girls of the tribe dancing around the pole like nymph’s dancing around a campfire, but when they handed the challenge off to the guys, that’s when things really slowed down.

While Coach and crew tried to figure out a pretty easy puzzle, Savaii caught right up and that crew absolutely dominated pushing those large bricks around.   Upolu was  still trying to figure out what to do while Savaii was carrying their massive block to the finish line and winning immunity….  and.. that would be last we’d hear of Savaii this episode.

Tribal Council

You have to love tribal council’s that involve vet’s.  They just know how to bring it.  Right away Coach mentions how Christina and Stacey were going to vote for Mikayla, which lead to a lot of confusion on their parts.  This was because Coach’s #1 ally, Brandon, lied to him right before camp and told him that in order to sway the tribe against Mikayla.  (again.. why??)

After some back and forth from the girls, Brandon decided to come clean and say it was him who said it, which made Coach have the classic “Oh shit I trusted the wrong person.. AGAIN” look.  To his credit though, Brandon did come clean, so that may earn him points in the long run, but in the short term he proved he can lie just like his uncle.

Here are the voting results:

Christine (4), Sophie (1), Edna (1), Stacey (3)

christine voted out

Christine will now square off against Semhar to see who is the first person to officially go home next week.

Here is the gallery, but if you prefer, I also post them to my facebook fan page you should be following!

Sounds Like Two Squirrels Making Love

Ozzy and Coach on SurvivorSurvivor: South Pacific kicked off last night, and I know I’m a little late to the party.  This is because I was blogging and live tweeting the Big Brother finale, and didn’t have enough time to blog about both 90 minute shows. For this week only, Survivor took a back seat to another show, but don’t worry, nobody puts baby in the corner!

We all knew heading into the episode that the main storyline they were going to follow were the return of Coach and Ozzy, and the introduction of Russell Hantz’s nephew, Brandon Hantz. Sure enough, the show didn’t disappoint as we certainly had our fill of those three last night, including Brandon comparing himself to the nephew of Hitler. (I don’t think your uncle was that bad… )

cochran without his shirt

Mr Translucent

There were some bright spots, with the self conscious law student named John Cochran, who was scared to jump in the ocean with complete strangers while wearing nothing but his underwear on the first day – due to his “translucent” skin. “Papa Bear” also seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and Christine had a few good lines like calling Coach and Ozzy “temporary” players (way to draw the line in the sand on day 1).

Like most seasons, the show started off with a challenge, except this year only the two returning veterans could play in it.  The challenge was basically designed for Ozzy, as the first part of it was to climb up a pole and get a wooden turtle on top, then they had to dig under a pole to squeeze through and finally conclude with a pretty tricky puzzle.  Ozzy tore through the first two parts, and then received a bit of help from his very welcoming tribe on the 3rd part to cruise to victory and get a nice gift basket including a flint to start fire.   Coach, on the other hand, had a welcome colder than Daniele and Jeff’s conversation last night on the Big Brother finale.  His tribe walked away with just Edna to help him carry his things to camp.

Side note:  Ozzy was picked for the Savaii tribe, and Coach on the Upolu tribe

Back in camp, Ozzy got one look at Semhar and instantly had a small crush on her when she recited some poetry.  This resulted in him abandoning plans to build a camp and suggest everyone just go for a swim – in their underwear.  Real smooth, Ozzy. It worked though, but I’m sure the producers probably pushed them a bit in order to keep the male demographic (and those who like ghosts) interested.

Should Mikayla be scared?

Over in the Upolu tribe, Coach was trying to fit in with a tribe that clearly was not happy they got stuck with the “dragon slayer” instead of “amazing” Ozzy, but he got them all to work on building a camp instead of trying to get nip slips of his female tribe members.  It’s a good thing, too.  By the way Brandon reacted to Mikayla’s “sexuality”, I’m not entirely certain we wouldn’t have seen him stabbing her with a bamboo stick while reciting scriptures.  I mean relax bro, you’re freaking out because a girl is wearing a tank top and shorts.  You acted like she was in lingerie trying to give you a lap dance .. wait a few weeks for that (kidding).

Immunity Challenge

After getting to know the few select people the editors decided to force down our throat this week, it was time for the immunity challenge obstacle course.  First, teams had to crawl under this bamboo maze, then run through a bunch of coconuts, climb over a wall, dig for a machete, chop down a bundle of coconuts which they will throw into a basket until it’s heavy enough to lift the banner.  Sounds easy enough, right?

Albert pulling up brandon hantz

Albert Pulling Up Brandon

It actually was pretty easy, as both teams tore through every part of the challenge staying neck and neck all the way to the very end.  Semhar was adamant about being able to throw the coconuts into the basket, so it was her time to shine, and shine she did not.  In fact, after like two tosses, she said she was tired and wanted to swap out, to which Jeff Probst said no f’in way! (not in those words)  Naturally, her tribe lost by no more than 2 missed coconuts, so all eyes were on her the rest of the episode.  (If you like girls in their bra with boobs practically hanging out, that wasn’t a bad thing for you.)

Ozzy, seeing his targeted showmance lover being brought up as the likely person to be voted out, decided to try and take some heat off her by focusing on “Mr Translucent”, Johnny Cochran. Being a huge fan of the show, this hurt Cochran probably more than he should have let on, but he was freaking out that some guy named “Papa Bear” and a few girls were going to be in the game longer than he was.  I don’t blame him there, I’d be hurt if I were the first target of the season.

Cochran did some light campaigning in camp, but channeled his inner Johnny Cochran during tribal council and pleaded with people to keep him in the game.  (Btw, this was a perfect situation for “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit” line, but he failed me).  Whatever he said seemed to have worked, because the mood of the tribe turned in his favor, and it was time to vote.

sehmar survivor wearing bra

Poet in a bra

By a vote of everyone against Semhar, our lovely “spoken word artist in a bra” was the first one sent to Redemption Island this season, and hopefully it won’t be completely lame like last year.  At one point you had like half of one tribe at redemption island when it was supposed to simply be a one on one duel.

That’s my first recap of the season.  I’m still trying to transition from daily live feed updates in Big Brother to the weekly slow grind of Survivor, so please bear with me while I get used to this.

Gallery

(note: images also posted to my facebook page)

Survivor: South Pacific Preview – Upolu­ Tribe

The Upolu tribe may be the most diverse tribe we’ve seen in awhile, and that could work in their favor as far as complimenting each other.  You have young college student who thinks the game is easy, Russell Hantz’s 19 year old nephew, a guy who looks like he could fight in the UFC, an old rancher, a teacher, a doctor, lingerie football player, and mortician.  Shit, this tribe can practically start a city with those professions.

If this tribe lands Ozzy, they may very well be primed to go deep into the game together.  That being said, this game isn’t played on paper and it will really matter on how well they get along, their cohesiveness and so on.  They may be like the tribe last year and throw competitions so they can get out the veteran, which is clearly bad voodoo based on what happened after that.

One thing I notice, Edna Ma is wearing her pant suits and they’re soaked at the knees. Did she forget she signed up to Survivor and joined the tribe after work or something?  The show has to tell them to dress all professional and shit just to make the landing seem more ‘real’, right?  I mean they’ve always had contestants do things like swim from boats, you’d think these people would learn by now to dress accordingly.

One thing is for certain, just glancing at the tribe, any alliance formed will be a weird one, so that will be fun to watch.   Like the rancher aligned with the doctor and lingerie football player would be funny as hell, but hey it could happen.

As you can tell I’m running out of things to talk about considering the show hasn’t aired yet, so I’ll get to the previews and breakdown now..

Upolu Tribe

Stats: 3 male : 5 female
Average Age: 32
Average Male Age: 32
Average Female Age: 32

Survivor Albert DestradeAlbert Destrade

Age: 25
Albert is the former jock of the show who looks like he is really proud of his baseball career and will probably talk about cont..

Survivor Brandon HantzBrandon Hantz

Age: 19
If the last name sounds familiar, it should. Brandon Hantz is the nephew of the famous (or infamous) Russell Hantz cont..

Survivor Christine MarkoskiChristine Markoski

Age: 39
It’s too early to get a feel for Christine, but like most older players in the game she’ll likely be in the ‘mom’ role cont..

Survivor Enda MaEdna Ma

Age: 35
Edna Ma, or should I say Dr. Edna Ma is a 35 year old Anesthesiologist from L.A., and is looking to make a big impact cont..

Mikayla Wingle

Age: 22
Meet Mikayla Wingle, who will most likely be the most popular Survivor contestant on day 1, get me a crap load of cont..

Rick Nelson SurvivorRick Nelson

Age: 51
Meet Rick Nelson, yet another cast member this season who has a famous name and is going to make it tough to get cont..

Survivor Sophie ClarkSophie Clark

Age: 22
I need to touch on one thing right away.  I’m sure Sophie is a great person, but your personal claim to fame is not cont..

Survivor Stacey PowellStacey Powell

Age: 44
Stacey Powell is a 44 year old Mortician from Texas.  I’m a little creeped out but at the same time fascinated by cont..

New Survivor Teaser Video

CBS released a little teaser video of Survivor, but it doesn’t show a whole lot.   It focuses a little on Brandon Hantz, who is Russell’s newphew, and the country music singer who gets in her underwear so quickly.   Quick 30 second spot, have a look: